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I live the American Dream... nothing is what it seems

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

12:21PM - Zoinkers! BatmAn!

Well, at least I do have the internet back now for a few months- haha!  So I can't blame being offline for not posting.  I can't believe I've neglected my LJ!  I've had this thing for I don't know how long ever since I got the internet I believe-haha I've met so many people through it (well, not as many as MySpace b/c well- I use that more).

Just anymore, I don't have a whole lot to post about, I guess I could start posting a little more and all that fun stuff... I do miss reading other people's journal's tho I have to admit to that one!  SORRY I'M A SLACKER!!!! =-O

Not liek I'm betraying journal writing all together, mySpace journal as gotten the slouch and so has my real one as well... *thinks* I'm not even sure where my real one is-haha!  

(slap me)

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

3:15PM - Stupid Lent!

Thanks to my stupidity and forgetfull ness.... while I was in Pittsburgh for Timmy's birthday, I forgot about LENT!   
I noted that to my mother and the guilt FLOWED liek the Nile from her mouth!  You would've thought we were Jewish, and not Catholic!!!  

So, I took a drastic step and gave up my own internet and cable for Lent!  OOOH WTF WAS MY STUPID ASS THINKING?!?   Ugh!
Notice, my loop-hole is *MY* internet & cable... thank goodness for friends and public access computers!!

Never again will I do this, I don't think!  I've never watched so many DvD's and BACK TO VCR's in my LIFE!

Mainly what I miss is MySpace (sometimes) but reading my friends journals... such as bluepose!  Thursday's are SO boring w/it the Thursday Hot Or Not... not to mention a Hump Day Sex Poll!!

Anyways.. ocntact me here jbj692@yahoo.com if ya need... not liek you will, but sitll- haha!

(slap me)

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

5:55PM - Unluck........

The worse thing is...

No, this won't contain some Ellen DeGeneres quote in it (anymore), well, ok maybe I'll throw another in somewhere. I'm just saying the worse thing is... y'know.

It's not that I am bitching (ok, yeah it is) just that is there such thing as unluck?  I do believe that there is.  Fore, I have it, I am unlucky.  Sure in one sense everything could be worse.  I'm not dieing of some unknown disease(that i know of, at least) I'm not in jail(yet), and I don't have alimony to pay... but I just have unlucky-ness.  I'm not a very lucky person anymore.  When I was a kid, I think I had good luck but bad situations... i was a fatty w/ a bad abusive homelife... BUT I rocked that stuffed animal crane liek it was my job, usually won almost any lil contest I entered and the FoxKids money machine, never less than $100! 

But, the past few years, nothing.  Sure, I got into Duquesne but then I fell into a spiral and lost my scholarship, lol.  I just want to give some examples to back my reasoning.  Within less than 9months my car was broken into 3 times!  (out of the total 5times in a whole year, who knew Buick Century's were such a target!)  The first time my window was broke and they stole my Alpine CD player all my CDs and everything else down to the pocket change in my car door handle.  The second time, well... there was nothing IN my car to steal b/c it was only a few months later and I dind't have a stereo still (just a hole) nor did I keep anything in it, but I did get a busted window, so I guess it was more "unluck" for the creeps busting into my car and getting nothing-haha!  It's liek getting caught for stealing gum from Wal*Mart, still a crime but for 89cent gum!  The 3rd time was in January when they stold my checkbook/wallet and my Laptop.  That was horrible b/c I lsot all my pics, programs and physical/digital memories of Pittsburgh.... but they didn't take my $500 coat, the 4unopened bottles of alcohol or my digital camera, lol... so there's some luck, I guess. 

When I was in Chicago we went ice skating, drunk.  I fell n hurt my butt and my right knee.  In two weeks I've bumped it 7times.  Today, I was runnin' through my house and BAM right into the door frame it went, not half hour later I sat down to type this did I bump it into my computer desk pulling my seat up!!!   Oh, and while writing this, Ihave a 5tealight mirror/glass candle holder... yeah I knocked if off my TV and broke it.  Oh, and my refund from Enterprise is 10hours late to my bank account and so I over-drafted expecting it to be there.  I guess that's more of a fault almost than unluck b/c I should never assume something will be done when I'm told it will be.  Liek cake, it's never done in the 27mins it says! 

Not that it can't be worse, b/c it always can.  Liek after i totaled my Buick I started driving my mom's Lincoln-well that's dead now, I killed it not putting oil in it.... so now I drive my dad's old 1980something Subaru work car that smells liek his work, I mean it could break down *knocks on wood it doesn't*... that would just be a stick up the ass.  Or that I haven't worked at Express in two weeks b/c they won't schedule me when I can be tehre due to my other job and mini-trips-those fuckers.  My heater decided to stop staying on after 5minutes and shut off and cool down for thirty before i can turn it on again so I freeze at night, lol... and i CANNOT keep that damn mink comforter on my, it always slides off- haha! 

I don't think it's bad luck really.. b/c I'd bleed or liek break a bone with ad luck... I just have unluck- haha.  Yet... I'm still generally a happy person, so I guess that's good.  Just ask anyone who knows me, I'm always injuring myself or something on an hourly basis... so now, I will just curl up in my bed and read my Cosmo!  Oh wait, Real housewives of Orange County!

...really?  I have a problem with procrastination, too!
"Really?  Get my sammich!"  (there's Ellen)

(slap me)

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

3:37PM - iPods & Fish

No, unfortunately this doesn't have much to do with the Apple iPod or the iFish (which, I want both...)  [not only for the convienance, durability, and the pretty lights].  

Rather, this has to do with this; http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070213/ts_nm/usa_kansas_dc
Decades after the famed Tennessee trial concerning evolution, Kansas Board of Education is STILL debating this issue.  Not for the first time, but FOURTH in eight years.

iPods, fish, turles, finches,  monkies, & Mayhem!  Who would think that even today this would still be debated at the educational level.  I understand debating it say liek as grown-ups in a discussion/heated arguement.  But, in teaching our kids... what is this?  I don't want ot bash anyone's beliefs in any way, let me say that now.  But really, in HS I was all about believing the Bible and not evolution, than magically one day POOF haha I became enlightened and was liek "Helllooo evolution!"  I was taught evolution in High School and it just made SO much more sense, and could be proven!  
The biological proof and aspects of evolution far away some passage that said "was created."  Sure, someone had to create everything in teh beginning, but really... just looka t the average height/age of man 300years ago.  I, at 6'5" would be a freak of nature, Jolly the Green Giant (granted I'm still tall now, lol). But wasn't the average male height liek 5'something?  Now it's liek 5'10", I think.  Ok, don't hold em to these facts b/c I did absolutely NO research before writing this! (*thats where the asterick comes in*).  ** (lots of them**, place accordingly*)
What is it with Kansas that they cannot teach evolution?  I, personally think that would just set a student BACK in their education.  Say they moved out of state, or went to college out of state where evolution is taught?!  They'd get there and be behind and liek "WTF is this?!?"  Monkeys turning into homo sapieans?!  Fish developing legs?!?  They'd think they landed on the SciFi channel!!  
I only think it's FAIR to a students education to teach evolution.  So many people in the US know "and God created man."  (I'm not saying he didn't).  Think about that, the Bible to some people is either strict interpretation or loose, just liek the US Constitution.  Going out on a limb here, who says that God didn't create man to evolve after so long?  What if those anscestors they dig up are man who just didn't look liek us yet, I know when I do projects I never turn in my frough draft (time crunch, permitting... but on that, God is god, he didn't have a deadline, lol... and if He did... he'd juust freeze time, or kill his professor-either way, lol...) It's just that to me, proof is SO overwhelming that I can't comprehend NOT teaching evolution.  I'm not saying everyone has to believe it, BUT, at least it's being taught!

Even today as we go about our normal lives we see evolution.  We see that those albino moose in Canada don't live as long (natural selection)!  We see that liek alien species introduced into different habitats destroy the structure of balance.  Take those weird chinese fish in Maryland or wherever they are, or zebra mollusks in Michigan!  Look at iPods!  Years ago I had a creative nomad.  It didn't even have a SCREEN just a case and three buttons, play/pause, skip, volume!  Now look, iPods!  Haha, please don't base all evolution on that... but in a way technology is evolution.  HDTV didn't exist when I was a kid, hell i was lucky enough to get the bunny ears to pick up Fox11 which is 10minutes from my house! Haha!

P.S. I can't wait to watch the Sarah Silverman Program!

Current mood: frustrated

(slap me)

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

3:28PM - Chicago & Crunches

So... I've been doing crunches... and damn, they burn.  Haha... I guess they meant the "feel the burn!"     Why does it burn?  I guess that I am out of shape...  
Which, it's also been forever that I've posted an entry... I use MySpace tho liek it's my job!  I do read posts and everything else tho, almost daily!   

On another note... Feb 16th I'll be flying to CHICAGO!  Yeah Daddy, YEAH!   I'm so excited.  I've never flown before I'm scared a sshit, but I'm also excited as all piddles!!   I'll only be there for the weekend, but y'know it's better than nothing!

Sarah Silverman...  I guess religion is only important when you're trying to decide how to raise your child.... we'd be honest "liek... Mommy is one fo the chosen people"... "and daddy believe that Jesus... is magic"   (on her being jewish and her bf Catholic)... "no.. i believe Jesus is magic.. he turned water into wine... and uhm, I beleive he made that statue of liberty disappear in the 80's..."   "everyone blames the Jews for killing Jesus... and they try to pass it off on the Romans... i'm one of the few people that believes it was that black.  Good.. I don't care I hope the Jews killed CHrist... I'd do it again!  If I hear his Birkenstocks clacking this way!  (Above was all from Sarah Silverman's Jesus is Magic DvD"

(slap me)

Monday, November 27, 2006

1:57PM - Pittsburgh Accident

It's liek I can't ever go to Pittsburgh w/o getting into some kind of trouble... *le sigh*
Well, Pittsburgh was fun... *ahem* anywho, the ride home....  OH lets start w/ i think i screwed my neck up agian (not as abd as I ddi @ Scorpio's that time in liek July or whenever, haha... SARAH!) but Friday night b/c it was all sore Saturday

ANYWHO.. comin' home I hit (more liek knicked, then ran over) a deer.... and hit a guard rail... haha  i thought my car would be more tore up than it is now... but it's not, suprisingly somehow by liek act of God I imagine...  but i could only afford liability insurance so I'm screwed w/o a car and my parents can't/won't help me there.... AND MY BABY BUICK I LOVE HER!!!  *tear*  I am havin' nightmares of it tho... *shudder* of the accident

FUCK stupid LJ won't let me upload pics anymore b/c i'm just a free user... screw that shit!!  Check my MySpace if ya really wanna see it- haha  www.myspace.com/jarrodj OR just DISPLAY NAME search for ROCKST*R haha i'm usually first

(slap me)

Thursday, November 23, 2006

9:34PM - Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  I hope everyone had a blast!!!

Today, I didn't expect much of a Thanksgiving... it turned out to be somewhat of one....  more of just nieghbors running around and the liek...   of course none of us ate together (as usual)... no family showed up but most live farther away and I couldn't go anywhere *shrugs* b/c of work.

I did stop by my sister's, Brandy... sat around for an hour or two, contacts were bothering me really bad so I came home... 
Drove by my other sister's, Angie and my three nephews...  I couldn't bring myself to stop.  It hurts.  It's been three years or something since I've seen them.  I feel really bad but we've grown apart, and my dad doesn't help much being the asshold that he is.  He's the reason they don't come here anymore, and I know it hurts Angie as much as it hurts me.  I do miss seeing them... I wouldn't know where to start back up.

Yes, I'm scared.  I'm scared it's been so long I wouldn't know what to do.  So so much has changed, I feel as if they wouldn't accept me.  I know some members go longer than 3years, but its still a long time.  I beleive it all goes abck to when my grandmother passed away... since then none of us really communicate liek we should... guess it's just a part of life that we must accept.  

Have a GREAT Black Friday... I'm going to bed now so I can work at 5am!

(1 bitch | slap me)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

1:08PM - You cna't fix Stupid!

And God Don't Liek Ugly!

I never update this anymore, so I thought with all this free time I have off I'd finally give a lil update to say hey to everyone in LJ world!!  I'm sorry I've neglected you all... LJ has been with me through SO SO Much!   I don't even know what I've said in the past few posts, actually.. nothing important I'm sure.  ;)

I still work at Express in the mall... and I also work for Luxottica... @k@ Sunglass Hut!  That has to be one of the most broing jobs b/c I can't do anything half the time but sit there and try on sunglasses-which of course makes it all worth it!  Haha, at least I get paid.... just liek Express when I work there, in the mornings I get SUPER boring.  I am a seasoned employee there now.... which means I've been there w/o quitting or getting fired-hehe!  I love Express most days... mainly its the people, we just got a new Store Manager and he seems really nice and understanding about our 'slower' sales days.  Come by GIFTCARDS from me... and get a CREDIT CARD!  You know you want it... YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!   

I need to go back to Pittsburgh its been a while since I've visited!   I need it.   But, I've been to Charlotte, NC- I loves loves it there!  Ph, and Parkersburg a few times... and yeah COLUMBUS!! Haha!  Columbus, OH was fun lots of crazy people... drunk people... gay people who liek to shop in over-priced stores... I'd fit in SO SO well, hah!!   Its almost Thanksgiving... I still live at home which sucks b/c y'know I've been kicked out TWICE now, so its more liek I just live in my room and avoid the household as much as I can... minus Abbey I take care of her... she needs a bath right now, too!  Oh... blah and she's getting so so big and needs spayed.

I don't really have anything important to say except my usual try my MySpace if ya really need anything- haha I do continue to read my friends list, so don't fell left out!  Still loves!

(slap me)

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

4:04AM - Tiiime

Well... a lot has came and gone since my last update. A trip to Pittsburgh... Jeremy moved.... I went to Charlotte...

I don't know where I stand anymore in my life. I'm so confused... I'm slowly being "urged" to move back out by my father... whom they are the reaosn I moved back to WV in the first place... but now it's liek where do I want to go next...?!?! SOmehow (i believe my dad) my balance at Duquesne is now only liek 3K.... then I can go back once i get the chance.... but now it's liek... I really really want to graduate from there but do I want to be stuck in this position again now that I'd be payin' it All by myself again...?!? After this second visit to Charlotte I realized how much I liek it down there and the things to do and lifestyle... altho it is a bit more slow-paced in the south, haha!!

But... who knows is that worth giving up the years & money I already spent at Duquesne.. knowing I have one more year left? I'm too anxious to actually decide anything for the best of my interests.

Express is really slacking me off on hours and I'm not lieking it b/c I need those hours 15 a week isn't cutting it when thats basically what i have to live/save which I have NONE saved.... Sunglass Hut tries to give me more hours but thats harder when we only have 4 people working and so many hours for Beth & NIcole then the rest split between Angel & I.... i don't know... in a more populus area I'd hope to have more hours somewhere but I don't know how I'd get that garaunteed... sice mine alreayd were at Express but y'know management sucks there.

I'm just moving along, but I'm not reacing for any goals is the things... I'm liek a hamster in a wheel! I move and strive but i'm not getting anywhere....

(slap me)

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

1:52AM - My LIEK WOAH

It's been liek a while since I've posted, sorry.  Justbeen busy.
I have a lot of stuff to say so maybe I will really update tomorrow.
Still love my job at Express... love the Sunglass Hut as well.
Just got back from Pittsburgh...I miss it totally, and the peoples I love.
I have two new fish... they are betta's..well, one is a crown tail betta-it's hot.
Dating Adam still....
Abbey is still a hot mess...
I'm sick...
It's fall :)
I can start pulling out the sweaters almost, now...

Loves...

(slap me)

Friday, August 11, 2006

10:45PM - Long Time No Post, eh?

It has been a while since my last update.  I must apologize, while I still try to read my friend's post I am negative on commenting.  Thing in my life have been turning around somewhat still I must say.
I recently started a job at Express, about a month ago.  It's the last Express/ExpressMen left in WV.  Which, kind of doesn't look too promising for my job by my standards considering our store manager just got fired, lol.  I have room to move up.  I'm not sure how I feel about that though.  It would be nice to make more money but I know how they work people (Hey jerrr, lol).  Lately, I haven't been getting any hours at all and this week I have even less down to 20.  It's why after months of having no job, I was offered a second job at the Sunglass Hut.  THANK GOODNIESS MY PASSION AND LOVE FOR SUNGLASSES FINALLY PAYS OFF!  Just so y'know, not all shop-a-holic stories end bad- haha, ok mine actually does in a way.

But still with two jobs my total hours next week are 28.  I need to work at LEAST 30.  Considering 28 is only two hours from that previously I have only been workin 25 or less.  They are hiring liek mad but won't give people the hours that we want so I just don't get it, really.  I'm starting to despise living with my parents more and more each day.  They can do nothing and it'll piss me off.  Or, they can try not to and that pisses me off.  I know that my father is tired of having me around, saying it himself even.  My mother is a win-lose situation.  I love them both and being around my mother but we do need time apart and it's just hard to get around here.  Today I was just in a pissant kinda mood once I got home.  I can't afford driving to Huntington everyday for work from Hurricane but it's not liek on this little of pay I can afford the option of living somewhere else, y'know.  I talked to Eric last night about a lot of things and it helped and it's reassuring knowing I'm not the only one with issues and problems liek my own.  I miss Pittsburgh so much, I really do.  I miss the times I had there, the people around me, the atmosphere, the life, the nightlife, the things to do, and most of all at least 3 people I consider bestest friends are all there.  Granted all are wanting to move as well but at least they are centrally located still for the time being indefinatelly, lol.  I miss 3 of them, mainly.  Jeremy, Timmy, and Jen... things just seemed to flow better when they were around.  Jen & Timmy always reassuring me I wasn't the only nutcase, Jeremy there to party with and what-not... and then just ebing us.  ANYWHO, lol... I still don't have that strong of a friend base back in WV.  As if I would move, I wouldn't miss that many of a peoples that I see anyways.  A few, maybe but I've been through that process before.  

Wow, since my last post I think I've been back to PIttsburgh once or twice, neither enough time to do everything or see everyone that I want to.  I've been through two guys, lol.  I know a year of nothing and here they are liek all around me-haha!  *shrugs*  It's always liek that once they 'know' ur taken they just flock or something liek a sale at Macy's.  I should always say I'm in a relationship or something- jkjk.  I just met this one guy and we haven't had an official date yet, but we've hung out several times and today we even had lunch.  Who knows where that's going.  It's too early to tell anything from it I believe.  Altho, I do want that long term relationship and to build upon my life with someone.  But, am I truly ready for that?  Because I haven't even finished school yet, and that's one thing I definately want to do, and back at Duquesne as well if all possible.  Plus, if I met someone in WV and do that... what's the lieklihood they would follow to Pitts for me.  Who knows if I would even do it for this unsaid person, haha.  *shrugs again*  Then, even after that I have no idea where my life will take me.  I want to travel, I want to venture, I want to see the world (ok, maybe can't afford that yet but at least the US-it's closer, oh, and Canada!)  Who knows where I will live I want to experience living in different places to make sure I'm not missing out.  I know I'll always be missing out on something, but I want to try and come as close as I can to not.  I just want to live life.  I'm so tired of having depression behind me I want it even more further behind.  I want to live my life as if anyone else couldn't.  I want to do things for myself, for others, for people who can't.  I want to experience and take it all in.

Where this will all lead to, I don't know.  Everyuthing I do is a learning experience.  You can never have too much experience.  (Unless you's a ho! haha)  But, is there someone willing to do that as well along with me.  Sure, if I find someone I can put that on hold till whenever or something.  I am so uncomfortable in my skin, I sicken myself sometimes.  I know from what people tell me I am a lot of fun to be around and I get into crazy ass death-defying shit sometimes.... people cna handle it as a friend but can anyone as a partner?  LoL

I am still abstinant, just so you know.  It was a year of Vowed Abstaining 10 days ago on Aug. 1 I am still proud of myself, thank you.

By the way, anyone know of a good face-wash?  I've tried so many and none really seem to be giving me the results I want.  Right now I have Neutrogena Cream Cleanser... I just started it two or three days ago so I sitll have trial time on that, but other than that I've been through so many!!  So, suggestions would help!  K, thanks, bye.

(1 bitch | slap me)

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

12:40PM - Freedom

I am now 22 as of July 2nd.   America has had another year of Independence!

I think those are good accomplishments.

I haven't gotten myself in some life-ending accident by being stupid.  

America is still a country even tho it's leader makes everyone hate us by doing stupid shit and trying to get our people killed.

...yeah America & I have a lot in common.  The land is good, the leader's just an idiot ;)

(slap me)

Friday, June 30, 2006

12:35PM - Pre-Birthday

I always seem to get depressed about a half week before my birthday and then I get REALLY excited.  My birthdya is Sunday, I will be 22.

But, only this time I'm still in the depression zone and I'm waiting to get excited but I'm not feeling it.  I feel as if my entier past year of existence has been useless.  I didn't accomplish anything that I wanted to do, altho I did realize some things.  I made a few select not so great choices made a few enemies.  I do think the stuff I did realize is better for me, and sets me off as a better person that I can learn to grow and mature even further from.  That is one thing I am happy about, and that I did go kayaking!  (which yeah, I loved it!)

Still... i don't feel liek I tried hard enough, nor do I feel  was really motivated to do anything in the past year of life to MAKE the changes happen.  All it seemed to do was make me bitch & moan more.  Lo and behold, here I am doing it again.  Still, i don't feel the motivation to do it.  I know I want to... I just need a stiff kick in the ass (as my grandmother used to say- *RIP*).  
I'm scared of what the future holds for me and where it will take me.  I am anxious but scared that one day I will be tired of making the best of things which I alreayd am and I will just give up.  I gave up once in my life already and it took moving home to almost get me started again but yet I broke down a few times on the path.

I can only hope for the motivation to change.  Then from that prosper and change other things.  
I used to want to make change in the world.  I wanted to be a positive influence on the world somewhere doing something.  I wanted to create policy, manange policy, get people to come together and work efficiently and as one friends.  Somewhere deep inside me still lies that little glimmer of my goals.  My goal to get my masters in PP.  I want to teach what I know, I want to tell people the things I have learned, I want people to know my life even.  I want to know their lives.  

I do care how the world goes.  I want to make it go.   I want to make me... go.

(slap me)

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

11:09AM - RoadTrip Madness

ROADTRIP!Collapse )


*

Current mood: crushed

(2 bitchs | slap me)

2:28AM - Charlotte

Go to

www.myspace.com/jarrodj 

to read my LATEST 7blogs... it sounds liek a lot, but really it's not... ok maybe the 6are the best...

they are all PARTS and say what they are

all about my latest ROADTRIP!

ROCKST*R

Current mood: depressed

(1 bitch | slap me)

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

2:28PM - Multi-Post

I really have been using MySpace to post my blogs a lot more lately...
I thought about reposting all of them in here but that's kinda bothersome, but I still may.. or at least liek summarized version.

I've had a lot of thoughts and revelations lately.  (can i use revelation in a non-Biblical sense? lmfao) TOo bad I am anywho...

So.. until I get that... go to www.myspace.com/jarrodj to read my blog's... "Honest to yourself"  "Love..or something" and say ALcoholic N Proud for a laugh... i think there may be another one in there, too-lol

xox
ROCKST*R

(1 bitch | slap me)

Sunday, June 11, 2006

2:04PM - BOred survey

[x] I have read a lot of books.
[] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
X] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[] I have been to Canada.
[] I have been to Europe.
[X] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[X I have tripped UP the stairs.
[X] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[X I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[X] I have played ping pong.
[X] I swam in the ocean.
[] I have been on a whale watch.
[x] I have seen fireworks.
[] I have seen a shooting star.
[] I have seen a meteor shower.
[X] I have almost drowned.
[ XI have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[X] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[x] I have had stitches.
[] I have had frostbite.
[] have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[X] I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.
[] I currently have a job.
[X] I have been ice skating.
[X] I have been rollerblading.
[X] I have fallen flat on my face.
[X] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[] I have been in a fist fight.
[X] I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.
[x] I have watched the power rangers.
[] I attend Church regularly.
[x] I have played truth or dare.
[x] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[x] I have already had my 17th birthday.
X[] I've called someone stupid.
[X] I've been in a verbal argument.
X[] I've cried in school.
[] I've played basketball on a team.
[] I've played baseball on a team.
X[] I've played football on a team.
[] I've played soccer on a team.
[] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[] I've played softball on a team.
[X] I've played volleyball on a team.
[X] I've played tennis on a team.
[] I've been on a track or cross country team.
[X] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[] I've bungee jumped.
[X] I've climbed a rock wall.
[X] I've lost more than $20.
X[] I've called myself an idiot.
[X] I've called someone else an idiot.
[X] I've cried myself to sleep.
[x] I've had (or have) pets.
[x] I've owned a spice girls CD/cassette.
[x] I've owned a britney spears CD.
[] I've owned an N*Sync CD.
[] I've owned a backstreet boys CD.
[X] I've mooned someone.
[X] I have sworn at someone of authority before.
[X] I've been in the newspaper.
[X] I've been on TV.
[] I've been to Hawaii.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[X] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[X] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[X] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[x] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[x] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.
[X] I've been called a geek.
[X] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[]X I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[]X I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[x] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[x] I've written poetry.
[] I've been arrested.
[x] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
X[] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[X] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[X] I've had/have siblings.
[x] I've been to a rock concert.
[x] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[x] I've been in a play.
[X] I've been picked last in gym class.
[X] I've been picked first in gym class.
[X] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[]X I've cried in front of my friends.
[x] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[X] I've played Halo 2.
[X] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[] I've been to Alaska.
[] I've been to China.
[] I've been to Spain.
[] I've been to Japan.
[X] I've had a fight with someone on AIM.
[]X I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[]X I've had serious conversations on any IM.
[]X I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[]XI've been forgiven.
[X] I've screamed at a scary movie.
[X] I've cried at a chick flick.
[X] I've watched a lot of action movies.
[X] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.
[] I've been to a rap concert.
[] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[X] I've lived in more than 2 houses.
[X] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[]X I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[X] I've been in a car accident.
[X] I've done drugs.
[X] I've been homesick.
[x] I've thrown up.
[X] I've puked on someone.
[] I've been horseback riding.
[X] I've filled out more than 10 myspace surveys.
[X] I've spoken my mind in public.
X[] I've proved someone wrong.
[X] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[] I've broken a leg.
[] I've broken an arm.
[X] I've fallen off a swing.
[]X I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight
[X] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
X] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.
[X] I've lost my backpack.
[X] I've come close to dying.
[] I've seen someone die.
[X] I've known someone who has died.
[x] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.
[X] I've done modeling.
[] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[X] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[X] I've realized how good my life is.
[X] I've counted my blessings.
[X] I've made fun of a classmate.
[x] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.
[X] I've slapped someone in the face.
X[] I've been skateboarding.
[X] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[X] I've lied to someone to their face.
[X] I've told a little white lie.
[X I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.
[X] I've fainted.
[X] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[X] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[X I've been pushed into a pool.
[] I've been/am in love.

(slap me)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

11:50AM - HRC

So after waiting liek three weeks for my HRC band to come in the mail b/c it wa son back-order and all that other shit.  I got it today.  It looks just liek it did in the photo and it's neat.  But, it's ugly as hell!  Haha

I went out to The Stonewall last night for the first time in liek 5 months.  It's great seeing people that remember me.   It's also great knowing I still kick ass and I'm easy to spot b/c I'm giant and I radiate, LMFAO!  Or something someone told me last night I don't remember.  

I still had a BLAST though, and i'm happy I went.  I'm going again tonight, I think.  I also met a lot of new people!  Unfortunately for all my loving friends (or rather FORTUNATELY) I didn't do any drunk dailing or texting.  Well... Chad but I knew he was calling, lol.   

Anyways I need to go on a diet, as always, but seriously this time.  I need to change my eating habits.  I went back to eating late and snacking a lot and put on weight.  But, I'm working on that now, and in the past few days I've fluctuated back down by 4 pounds which I'm so glad when I saw that lower number on teh scale-haha.  

(slap me)

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

2:24PM - Life... la la la la

This is a continuation from my last entry's comment section.  (I would read that before this, but I won't force you to do such). 

As i have found out that there is more to lfie than just what people see on the outside of it.  More so in gay life.  I may only be short of 22, but I have learned a lot over the years, many things the hard way.  I don't regret anything, nor do I want to change anything.  I may not be satisfied with who I am or what my situation is right now, but Ihave lived my life, and hope to continue living my life as I see fit, well, with th help & advice of many friends.  ;)

There is more to life than just sex and work.  Especially over the past few months to a year I have realized many things.  The friendships I have made and bonds I have formed with many people.  Many people who are not in the same place age/work/time-wise that I may be.  My closet friend is an older woman and mother of 5.  It has to be one of the most open & free friendships I have made almost.  I ahve realized the value of children.  ALthough I am still unsure of if I will eventually want them or not, her 2 year old has taught me many things.  Life goes faster than you realize when you look back on things.  So, you need to share these moments and spend them having fun.  Life is simple, its the people you choose to include that makes things complicated.  Sure, every friendship relationship has it's rough spots but those can be taken care of.  

If you make a friend and when you're away from them for a long period of time, chances are they are probably worth staying in contact with one way or another.  When I moved back to WV from Pittsburgh, I realized this.  Plus, it's always nice to have friends around the world (just in case of major road trips, haha jk)  But honestly, I try pretty well to stay in contact with several people from Pittsburgh either by just texting/MySpace (thank goodness for that), and even snail mail.  I am a huge fan of snail mail, really.  It makes me happy to send people actual physical things and especially when I get them.  They are more unexpected than a text or an e~mail, really.  

Two year olds are scared of things but they learn over time the world isn't a scary place and begin to accept things as they are and become unafraid.  Somewhere along the line we learn to be scared of things once again.  I can only hope some of those things we learn to trust once again, but still it's good ot be scared of something things.  A little bit of fear keeps the spice of life going, I believe.  Well, at least the adrenaline pumping, lol.  Taleigh has taught me a LOT of patience and understanding.  A great deal of care and time goes into introducing a small child into the world and growing up.  They look up at people for help for what seems to us, easy tasks.  Walking down steps, eating, and that puppies are cute.  Once we get older many of us don't have the perfect suffecient role model to look up to anymore, at least in a personal matter.  So, what we have left is each other in our peer group and out of of peers.  Not to mention back to the begining of a small child.  

I guess what I keep rambling about is that life somewhere along the line is better than what we know it to be.  Not only did I almost despise Abbey (my mom's puppy) when she first got it, but couldn't wait to haul it off.  Now, even though I still get aggrevated with her, she is teaching me as much as I am her.  You can't expect an 8week old puppy to know everything that you want it to, it takes TIME.  They aren't delibratelly eating your shoes, tearing up you Prada, or pooing in the tomato plants out of spite, they just haven't been taugh not to yet.  I think we all need to be taught new things everyday.  Eventually I hope each one of us comes to a point where we realize that, and maybe we're mad just b/c we haven't been taugh how else to handle something or that there just may be a way.

I have to admit, not everything I do is in realtion to what I preach, I infact am still learning, too.  I have wanted to take the easy way out more than once, but I have not out of fear.  It's something good to be scared of in a way.  My hope is that one day we all will just learn better.  

ANd of course, we all might not be the head of a gay resrot in teh Caribbean someday, but thanksfully that's not for everyone in the first place, lol... b/c we have to be everywhere else for anyone else.

(slap me)

Thursday, May 25, 2006

2:45PM - ROADTRIP TIPS

I want to Roadtrip some more, but I'm just bad at it.  Liek, I suck.  I take my car filled with all kinds of cloths, bags and accesories, and go for it.  Trust me, I don't think people road trip with Dior/Guess filled Kenneth COle & Lagerfeld bags, lmfao... 

Okay, so maybe people do.. but I don't think it's smart to!  I knwo that much especially with my luck of getting robbed, thieved, and now recently, bashed/beaten.  (Long story - don't wanna talk about it). 

But, I need some road tripping tips.  Any, actually would be great considering the only thing I know is if you hitchhike you need to have drugs to share.  And I don't really plan on that b/c it's scary when you're 6'5" blond and HOMO I don't think that is the safest thing to do.  Especially given all above ciscumnstnaces and mean people, lol.  But, I still want to road trip.  So, anything would be of GREAT help!!  

I want to mainly stay East of the Mississippi but a little further wouldn't hurt I don't think, mianly b/c I want to eventually hit Arizona some time, that would be good.  SO I just need liek some helpfui advice, or some things to see liek points of interest, maybe a book that has this stuff in it I can get... clubs? people?  maybe people to go along?!? *shrugs* lol

Thanks!

(slap me)

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